Lights Will Guide You Home

The doctor’s office called R at noon. We debated whether she should conference me in to listen the voicemail together on her lunch break, but we were each too afraid to get bad news alone. She decided to leave work early so we could finally end the agonizing wait. At four pm we laid down on our bed, held hands, and pushed the voicemail button. The nurse’s tone was neutral. Professional. My heart sank. And then she said,

“Congratulations you are pregnant.”

I began sobbing. Sobbing so hard and for so long that R feared I was actually unhappy about the news. She shook me and said, “Please tell me you are happy about this?!” I managed to utter a garbled response, and continued sobbing.

Our long struggle is over.

I feel so much gratitude. I am so humbled by the scores of people who have prayed for us, hoped for us. Earlier this month I had a visual reminder of all the prayers and good wishes when my mother spilled an entire bowl of prayer beads on the living room floor. Β When I laughed about the ridiculous sight of three adults crawling around fetching hundreds of tiny beads she said, “This is how many prayers are being said for you right now.”

Thank you thank you thank you. Oh my goodness thank you. I’m so grateful.

My sweet Bean(s), I can’t wait to meet you. Until then, you are held in the light of so many wonderful people. We just can’t wait for you to arrive.


24 responses to “Lights Will Guide You Home

    • Thank you!!! I was just thinking yesterday how I can’t wait to see my Bean in footie pajamas. πŸ™‚ Fingers crossed for your cycle, too.

  1. AHHHHH!!!! The MOST AWESOME news!!! So, so, so very happy for you and R. Much love and wishes for a peaceful, gentle pregnancy! Can’t wait to meet the Bean(s)!

  2. Excited beyond words, I still get tears in my eyes of every new mention of this good news. Thanks be to God and for all those zillion prayers for this great blessing. I bet the prayers were even more than the number of beads in the tin.

  3. what wonderful words i heard when R told me the news. All i want to say is
    thank you God for this gift. I’ve seen so many wonderful blessings this past year in answer to prayer. xoxo
    (psalm 37:4)

    • Thank you, I’m trying. I already want to wrap my wife in bubble wrap. Crossing my fingers for you, too. Hoping that IVF is the ticket for you as well.

  4. I have been thinking about you every day for the last couple weeks. This news makes me a very very happy lady!! Love to you and R.

    • Aw, thanks friend! Have been thinking of you, too. And, I vote for sending in photos of Enzo and Maddie for some kind of contest. Pottery Barn Kids models? I think so. Geez those pictures were just killer.

  5. Congratulations! I found your blog through another blog I follow. Welcome to the club – we are a few weeks apart. I look forward to following your progress πŸ™‚ x

  6. Pingback: Trust Fall | mothershood

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