Desperately Seeking Moses

I’m finding it useful to write in the morning to empty the recesses of my mind of thoughts that obstruct progress toward completing the day’s tasks. This morning I cannot shake the image of New Life Baby Home, and the very real knowledge that there are children in this world, living and breathing and laughing, who need parents. And then there’s me and R, who really want to parent. Between us there’s a Red Sea of prejudice and Moses is out on another call. 

I cannot believe that God prefers for children to live without dedicated parents. Without unconditional, deep and imperfect human love. And I guess it’s that belief that propels me forward, even to the brink of what could be perceived as antagonism, until I meet a wall I know I cannot climb.

I’ve read many articles in the popular press that condemn women and couples using assisted reproductive technology. Authors and commenters ask why these families don’t do the world a favor and “just adopt.” Buried in that phrase is the implication that adoption is simple. Dig one layer further and you’ll find the notion that adoption is distinct purview of infertile couples. Neither is true, and I’d like to see a more realistic public discussion of the very real impact of sexism, homophobia, and class on the various pathways to parenthood. 

In the meantime, I’ll be looking for Moses.



3 responses to “Desperately Seeking Moses

  1. Among my friends on Facebook has been a continuous conversation about Christmas presents and kids. One of the most common themes is gender specific toys. My favorite response to this was a diagram that you could use to determine if the toy was appropriate for your child, whether they were a boy or girl. There were two ways to go on this diagram. Option 1: Do you need to use your genitals to play with this toy? Answer: Clearly this is not suitable for a child. My point being that there are many, many traits that make my spouse and I parents. Our sexuality is not one of them.

    We also chose not to pursue adoption because we knew that my husband’s heart condition would make it impossible. What does this say about our world? We can bring three brand new people into it but can’t care for one that is already here? Ridiculous!

    • I often think about the very stringent requirements for adoption, and how different our world might look if every parent were required to undergo counseling, enroll in child development classes, specify a parenting plan, pass a criminal background and financial investigation, pay $12,000-30,000 and then wait 12-30 months for a child.

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