I’m just settling back in to life after nearly a month of travel. The laundry is finally finished, my bags are unpacked, and my brain’s back on Pacific Standard Time. Now that’s more like it! The pace of my life over the last five weeks has been dizzying, and I can’t decide if that’s a sign that I should spend less time crafting and internetting between these big pushes, or if I need the crafting and internetting to get through the pushes. It’s a sort of chicken and egg situation.
In terms of news from the home front, we’re taking this month off from TTC because of the KD’s travel schedule. In the meantime, we’re trying to get everything set up for him to bank his sperm for us so we can use it at the doctor’s office. Yep, we’re going legit. Back to the sterile, scientific approach to baby making. It’s not ideal, but hey, none of this is! Only a few fertility clinics will allow us to use a known donor and waive the FDA-recommended 6 month quarantine of his sperm, but thanks to a friend we found a place in town that will agree to do both! We have an appointment with the new doctor on next Tuesday, so we’ll see what s/he thinks is our best next move. I’m trying to ignore my indignation at how I (as the non-bio mom) was treated during my first phone call with the new office. Let’s just say that they refer only to R as “the intended parent,” and told me to fill out the “Male Partner” sections of their paperwork. Um, no. I will not respond to questions about how many women I’ve impregnated and whether I’m having erectile dysfunction. Geez Louise. Is this 1980 or what? But I’ll set my hostility aside and be perfectly congenial in our appointment, provided they allow me back to the exam room.
So, I guess this post is just to let you know we are in a holding pattern, and we’re coping with it fairly well. Little by little I’m becoming a more patient person, and less controlling. More willing to accept any outcome, especially when there is little I can do to change it. I think this new approach agrees with me. I can’t say I’m totally zen or anything, but I’m definitely more…flexible. Flexibility and calm seems to make the grief more manageable and the hope more palpable.
That’s really all I’ve got for you today. Hope you are well…